at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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