she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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