Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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