Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
