PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
