Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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