There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
