Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my sisters under your porch take her home
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
