I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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