STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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