In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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