His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
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im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hippo gnu deer
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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