And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
