i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize