A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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