I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize