a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
