I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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