Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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