Porn is love you can see.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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