Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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