Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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