Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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