If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
