I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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