I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize