So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
