No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
