woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize