What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
