And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
