Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
