I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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