Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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