I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
