He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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