Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
