i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
nutella sex= disaster
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
