Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize