were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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