I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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