i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
