The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
