i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
