Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
