he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You can't just leave with hair like that
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
