yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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