im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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