so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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