My liver just broke up with me...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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