found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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