Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize