Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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