I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
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They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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