We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
