Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
