Plan B is the new Plan A
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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