I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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