Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
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We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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