doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
