Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize