I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
